monday december 22nd, 2003. thats the day i quit smoking.
after 25 years and over a pack a day. i havent had so much as a drag since.

the downside

i have gained 35 pounds.

i had to donate all of my fabulous clothes to my 12 year old neice. i now wear ponchos exclusively.

i nearly killed atleast eight people.
one of them was my sweet pea.

i am no longer considered cool by my smoking pals. some even fear me.

i dont know when to stop eating as i no longer have my end of meal marker.

i cant handle my booze and drugs like i used to and now fall asleep after child sized portions of each.

airplane rides must be endured without the celebratory after flight smoke, nor the final puff before plummetting to my imagined death.

i have overthought every little thing that is wrong with me. and foisted it all on my boyfriend.

did i mention i gained 35 pounds?

the upside

i dont wheeze anymore.

i dont cough unless i have a cold.

ponchos are kind of in...

i dont stink, and i would know if i stank, as i can smell much better now.

my smoking pals are freezing their asses off this winter while i stay inside warm and dry.

i dont feel guilty when i see cancer commercials, statistics, or pictures of black lungs.

i can go to the movies early for a good seat and just sit there if i want to. same goes for front of the stage during concerts. no need to give up my great spot for a smoke break

airplane rides dont have the same double whammy of anziety - fear and withdrawal. no more glassed in smoking closet of shame.

i have faced many of my fears and am still standing. as is my boyfriend.

thousands of dollars a year are now spent n me, not my monkey.

i no longer have to endure the slef-sanctifying stares of my non-smoking pals when i return from a butt break. these folks actually listen to me now when i explain that smoking is an addiction and smokers are sick SO STOP JUDGING THEM!

how did i do it?

cold turkey my friend.

and absolutely NO CHEATING. this is key. just makes it harder.

'leave the hole' was my motto. when you feel a sense of emptiness, just leave it there, dont rush to fill it with candy or something. just leave it and get to know yourself and your neurosis. quitting smoking is much like self therapy.

things that helped:

NOT CHEATING. NOT ONCE. i can't stress this enough. if you cheat you live a half life of deprivation. if you dont cheat, you get used to life without cigrettes. you have to have a single drag before you start again, so dont kid yourself.

really deep breaths. just like smoking only they smell better.

drinking water...still not doing enough of that but it does help.

having a truly supportive boyfriend. had he been substandard he would be sooooo out of here by now. or i would have started again. its a great way to test your relationships sturdiness. my boy passed with flying colours.

not eating big meals. i still eat a lot, but many smaller meals so i dont feel stuffed and hve little things to look forward to.

the smoking ban in the clubs came into effect 6 months into my quitting but it certainly helped when it happened. staying inside where you couldnt see anyone smoking helped too.

moving to victoria bc. damn its beautiful, green and illegal/unfashionable to smoke here.

this one is a bit weird, but the book did seem to help and was coincidentally read right before quitting successfully:

allen carrs easy way to quit smoking.